I'm Comfortable with My Failure

In 2022 I set a goal to lose 50 pounds. I had set the same goal in 2021 and achieved it. This year I came up short of my goal, at 41 pounds, but I'm comfortable with it. It's been a tough year. I spent a lot of it, hard-core, grieving. Food has always been a comfort. Considering I felt like a bottomless pit of need most of 2022, I'll take the loss and count it as a victory. 

When my dad got diagnosed with cancer several years ago, and the two subsequent years he spent dying from it, I put 85 pounds on my already morbidly obese frame. 

There was no number of donuts or pints of ice cream that could fill that pit of need, but I tried. This brought me back to my all-time highest weight at nearly 400 pounds. Of note, I had already lost this weight once before. That is another story. 

Since my dad passed away of prostate cancer, I have successfully shed 141 pounds. It's taken quite a while, but I've made good strides the past two years. I'm setting another 50-pound goal for myself this year. It's good to have goals. I have ideas about how I might push things along this year. I have motivation in the form of some trips and experiences that will be more enjoyable with increased fitness and endurance. 

It's been a good thing and I no longer worry about how long it will take to reach my goal, as long as I'm moving the right direction. I can do more, walk farther, last longer, carry more. I don't need a seat belt extender on flights anymore. Clothes are cuter now. I force myself to buy some. I've dropped an entire shoe size and width. Andy made me buy new shoes. What can I say? I just don't get enjoyment out of clothes and shoes. Cookware. That turns me on. Ironic, right? 

Well, here I am. Resolution time. Here I come 2023, all packed up with my goals, dreams and ideas on how to get there! Buckle up!

PS-I'll post the traditional before and after photo as soon as I have one! Those are not my feet. I would never post a photo of my feet. Who needs that? 

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