The Longest Year

Well, it will be one year tomorrow since we lost you. It has been the longest year. Lee stopped by today for a visit and he agrees. It feels like five. Oh, how you have been missed these past twelve months. 

Through the sorrow, the sun has managed to shine, however. (If you know, you know.)

We had not one, but three beautiful memorials for you. The tears and the love poured from everyone. Still, the tears come, but with a few more smiles these days, remembering you. 

I went on a girl's weekend with Amy and Pam, and we drank to you and remembered the trip we took to St. Paul with you over your birthday that year. 

We traveled to Italy and Lee came with us. We all commented on how much you would have loved the food and the wine and the architecture and the history. Elizabeth, Laurent and Mathilda flew from Switzerland to spend a few days with us. It was lovely. 

We spent time around New Year's at Geoff and Darcy's house and hanging out with Lee and Will and Janie. Geoff and Darcy made fondue. It was wonderful. We opened presents. Your name came up often.

I ask you all the time what you think of what I'm working on, and most of the time, I can hear your answer. It always makes me smile. 

We're driving Lee on RAGBRAI again this year, in celebration of the 50th anniversary of the ride.

In celebration of you, my friend. 

It's been such a long, anguished year. So many "firsts" for the kids and grandchildren without you. So many medical procedures for Lee. So many tears. So much heartbreak. 

Yet...

The sunshine finds its way through the cracks, and life rolls on, and there is hope. 

And there is laughter. 

And there is love. 

No one told me that you'd be such an unwavering friend to me, even after you were gone. No one told me you'd still be rooting for me, teaching me, encouraging me and comforting me.

You do it all the time in my dreams. In my memories. In the beats of my heart. You are forever a part of my life experience, lady.

Thank you for that. 

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