A Simple Favorite for Breakfast

We've been enjoying this one for nearly seventeen years around here. Onion and chive cream cheese, sliced tomatoes and onions on a toasted bagel with seasoned pepper and whatever herbs I have laying around. Easy to throw together in minutes, a serving of fresh vegetables knocked out first thing in the morning, pretty to look at, delicious to eat. 

It's one of Andy's favorites. He's never said so, but every time I make it for breakfast, he gives me a kiss on my head on his way out the door. 

I think it's the tomatoes. 

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The Two Hungers

Andy and I have a trip to South Africa planned for later this year and while researching I came across a piece about the San People (Kalahari Bushmen) of Southern Africa. I learned that they have lived in that part of Africa for more than 20,000 years. One of their philosophies really spoke to me:

“The Bushmen in the Kalahari Desert talk about the two "hungers". There is the Great Hunger and there is the Little Hunger. The Little Hunger wants food for the belly; but the Great Hunger, the greatest hunger of all, is the hunger for meaning.

There is ultimately only one thing that makes human beings deeply and profoundly bitter, and that is to have thrust upon them a life without meaning.

There is nothing wrong in searching for happiness. But of far more comfort to the soul is something greater than happiness or unhappiness, and that is meaning. Because meaning transforms everything into a more beautiful and elevated form.

Once what you are doing has for you meaning, it is irrelevant whether you're happy or unhappy. You are content - you are not alone in your Spirit - you belong.”--Laurens van der Post

I realize not everyone will understand that I find meaning in my life from making beds, cooking, hosting, facilitating and paying attention to the details that will enhance my guest's experiences and memories when they stay with us. You don't have to get it, but for me, there's no denying that's who I am.

I remember in the seventh grade, we had to take these vocational assessment tests that were supposed to find out what we were interested in and maybe even tell us what we would be good at. I can't really remember, except for one question on the survey: "Rank the top three careers, in order, of where you see yourself in the future," followed by a long list of options.

I was certain I was going to be a writer. A journalist. However, this is how I answered the question:

1. Chef

2. Catering

3. Innkeeper/Hotel Manager

Because those sounded like the most fun to me.

As I prepare for your visit to the Li'l Kitchen and the Hidden Cottage, I promise I will do my best to create a memorable and comfortable stay, and I will work hard to create dishes to satisfy your "little hunger."

And while I am doing these things, with the greatest intention in every detail, I will be satisfying the "great hunger" in me.

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Final Plan-Cottage Progress

Well, we have a final floorplan for the garage/mother-in-law apartment, and it will be going to the builder tomorrow morning! Now to find out what it will cost and how much work we are going to have to do. 

Andy is really pleased with the renovation plans we have for the addition. He likes that the plan completely separates our house from the business part and that the new plan is very non-invasive. Should we ever decide to convert the space back to living space, he feels it's a weekend warrior job. Roughly two days and the space can be converted back should we ever go that route. A few more days to polish it up and we can change it back!

This is the month we start doing the dirt work for the foundation of the garage/apartment. We have a dirt guy. We also have an electrician and a plumber lined up.

Last night Andy told me to hop in the van so he could show me something. He drove to a place about 20 minutes south of our farm to show me a building that was really similar to this one. He just wanted me to see it. Because he knows I'm a very visual person and seeing the building would help anchor our vision for it. 

He gets me. 

Life is pretty ok. 

Hope you're all doing well and feel supported by those you love. 

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I Don't Do Taverns

When I first came to Iowa, I was introduced to these sandwiches called Taverns. Sometimes Maid Rites. Maybe they are not the same thing. I don't even know. I've lived here for 15 years and I'm not sure. 

Because I don't do those "other" ground meat sandwiches. 

I do BBQs. Sometimes referred to as Sloppy Joe's, but that's not what I grew up calling them. Maybe it's a Wisconsin thing. Maybe it's just a Star Prairie, Wisconsin thing. I'm not sure about that either. 

Nonetheless, a ground meat sandwich, simmered with onions and "red stuff", including BBQ sauce, was the sandwich I grew up with. Orange. 

To the best of my knowledge, taverns do not have "red stuff" although there are bastardized versions of ground meat sandwiches that appear to be the offspring of a traditional Iowa tavern and a sloppy Joe, that some still refer to as a "tavern." When I looked up the recipe, most included mustard and/or vinegar. 

Nope. That's not what I make. 

"Barbeques" always made an appearance at potlucks of all kinds. You'd see them on the menus at ball parks and town festivals and county fairs. Sometimes as "Barbeque" or "Barbeque sandwich" or just "BBQ." If you ordered one, you'd get an orange ground meat sandwich on a bun, especially tasty with pickles in my opinion, but Andy isn't a fan of the pickle. He prefers his with a slice of sharp cheddar. 

I've changed my grandmother's recipe over the years. I've added more vegetables and more seasoning as you can see! I bet you can't name everything in there!

Even with the modified recipe, it's still a favorite childhood comfort food in all of it's orange glory! 

You'll find this tasty meat concoction featured in the Li'l Kitchen!

But it's not a Tavern. 

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The Longest Year

Well, it will be one year tomorrow since we lost you. It has been the longest year. Lee stopped by today for a visit and he agrees. It feels like five. Oh, how you have been missed these past twelve months. 

Through the sorrow, the sun has managed to shine, however. (If you know, you know.)

We had not one, but three beautiful memorials for you. The tears and the love poured from everyone. Still, the tears come, but with a few more smiles these days, remembering you. 

I went on a girl's weekend with Amy and Pam, and we drank to you and remembered the trip we took to St. Paul with you over your birthday that year. 

We traveled to Italy and Lee came with us. We all commented on how much you would have loved the food and the wine and the architecture and the history. Elizabeth, Laurent and Mathilda flew from Switzerland to spend a few days with us. It was lovely. 

We spent time around New Year's at Geoff and Darcy's house and hanging out with Lee and Will and Janie. Geoff and Darcy made fondue. It was wonderful. We opened presents. Your name came up often.

I ask you all the time what you think of what I'm working on, and most of the time, I can hear your answer. It always makes me smile. 

We're driving Lee on RAGBRAI again this year, in celebration of the 50th anniversary of the ride.

In celebration of you, my friend. 

It's been such a long, anguished year. So many "firsts" for the kids and grandchildren without you. So many medical procedures for Lee. So many tears. So much heartbreak. 

Yet...

The sunshine finds its way through the cracks, and life rolls on, and there is hope. 

And there is laughter. 

And there is love. 

No one told me that you'd be such an unwavering friend to me, even after you were gone. No one told me you'd still be rooting for me, teaching me, encouraging me and comforting me.

You do it all the time in my dreams. In my memories. In the beats of my heart. You are forever a part of my life experience, lady.

Thank you for that. 

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Our Dishes Have Dishes

A claim Andy makes often. 

I've been looking for some cute things for the cottage, and sorting items from things I already have. I try not to make impulse purchases since we already have a pretty good inventory.

But these dishes were so cute. I found them at Target, but they were not on sale. So unlike me to even consider paying full retail. I even left the store once and came back. The plates were calling to me, and I know why. 

They remind me of a set of dishes my grandmother, Mae, had when I was a child. A set of melamine dishes from the 60s I think, in 4 different colors with speckles on them. I ate off of those plates a gazillion times at my grandparent's house. All of the grandchildren did. 

Pancakes on Sunday mornings after Sunday school. Mae's spaghetti and salad with toast. All sorts of modified Swedish dishes with potatoes and cabbage. Tomato soup and tuna fish sandwiches. Birthday cake.

Gosh, I miss that woman. And her husband, and her son, all of whom sat down so many times at the same table with me and ate off of those speckled dishes.

So when I saw these, I just couldn't let them go. 

I can't wait for my family and friends to visit the cottage so they can start making memories. I guess I'm hopeful that when used in the cottage, these cute plates will  make a similar impression on whomever eats off them. Maybe the speckles will help cement the memory, hopefully a great one. 

Look at how good they look with the ones I already had!

A completely justified purchase, even at full price. 

(Although I'm 100% sure Mae would have told me to wait until they went on sale.)

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This Guy

He's the love of my life and my best friend. He's not perfect. Not even close. 

But he's perfect for me. 

We've been through a lot together. A lot of my stuff. A lot of his. Plenty of our stuff and a lot of stuff we never even saw coming. We have definitely not agreed about everything. We've had plenty of "words" over the years. Plenty of four-letter words, in fact, but the entire time, we've tried.  Tried to grow into better people than we used to be. Better than we used to be 30 years ago. Better than we used to be 8 months ago. Better than we used to be yesterday. 

So, we continue to work on ourselves and our relationship and our outlook. We continue to create and travel. We try to grow and improve, despite so much of our social and childhood conditioning and our own egos working against us. We inch along, finding our way, even now in our mid-fifties. Together. 

It has not been what I would call "easy."  Growth can be so ugly and painful, but he's had my back nearly every day for the past 17 years, even during my anguish, my breakdowns and my failures. Even when others have attacked me. He has demonstrated that time and again. I hope he feels he can say the same of me.

Maybe it's why we survive big projects well. 

Don't be fooled. This isn't a gushy post about how great my husband is. I don't need bragging rights that he earns the most, or looks the best, or has the biggest...truck. Andy is not perfect, as I have sometimes mentioned, but he is just exactly the right amount of imperfect for me. (I'm probably a little bit more imperfect than he'd like, but he has adapted well.)

This is a gushy post about how hard my husband tries. 

He is the most successful person at trying, that I've ever known. He gets up every morning and he just goes out there and tries again. 

He tries to be a better husband, a better father, a better son, a better friend, a better human. 

His success varies from day to day, but he perseveres. He pursues growth. 

It's attractive. 

I hope he never gives up. 

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It Could be More of a Micro-Market

Upon further research, I think we are going to be opening a micro-market vs. a ghost kitchen. Or maybe it's a combination of the two. Not sure yet. 

I've been testing some recipes that I hope to feature as part of the grab and go offerings. I don't really have plans to carry things like chips and sodas that one would often find as part of a micro market. 

I plan to offer fresh, homemade dishes as stand-alone meals or items one could use to complete meals at home. 

I'll start with a small, but familiar inventory and experiment and expand from there. There will be plenty of Upper Midwestern comfort food, but also options on the lighter side and seasonal specialties. 

The truth is, I'm not really sure what will work and what people will want, but I'll definitely be listening to the feedback. 

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A Tale of Two Scones by Andy

It was the best of scones, it wasn’t the worst of scones.

I’ve never been a big fan of the scone. In my experience, they are dry, crumbly and taste a lot like a plain biscuit. I’ll pass, thank you. I didn’t understand the attraction, until now.

Recently, my wife put a plate down in front of me with a scone on it. I started to tell her I didn’t care for scones, and she said, “it’s an iced raspberry scone. A new recipe I just worked out. I think you will like it. Try a bite.”

It did look pretty good, and I’m a sucker for icing.

It took her a while, but my mother taught me to eat what was put in front of me without complaint. I took a bite.

To say it was amazing is an understatement. In her tinkering with the recipe, my wife had somehow managed to fix everything I disliked about scones. It was tender, moist and just the right amount of sweet. The raspberry didn’t overpower. The icing was the perfect compliment. It was easily the best scone I’ve ever eaten. My wife had done it again.

She let another one sit out for 24 hours and then had me take a bite. It was the second best scone I've ever eaten. It didn’t dry out or lose its appeal. Most baked goods can’t boast much of a shelf life, but this one shocked me.

My wife routinely does this. She takes foods I don’t think I like and changes my way of thinking about them. I hope she’s able to keep doing that for many more years. It's nice to know I can learn something new, even at my age.

She's been working on something called a "banana bread scone." If it tastes half as good as it sounds, I will have to change my opinion of scones altogether. I can do that, if presented with compelling evidence.

Impressive job, my dear.

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Easy Savory Vegetable Cheese Tart 

This is a summer favorite and a great way to use up vegetables all summer. 

It's as easy as rolling out a sheet of frozen puff pastry dough onto a 1/4 sheet baking pan, combining 1 cup of shredded mozzarella, one package of Boursin garlic and herb cheese and one container of mascarpone and then spreading it over the cold pastry. Top with your favorite veggies. This one has zuchhini, tomatoes, asparagus tips and mushrooms.

Like on the one pictured, you can also add a layer of finely crumbled cooked Italian sausage. I cooked the sausage with some tired veggies and it was a great way to use up fennel and onion that were past their best. 

Drizzle with olive oil and season with your favorite herbs or blends. This one has seasoned pepper, a parmesan and truffle blend I needed to use up and herbs de Provence. The possibilities are endless. 

Bake in a preheated oven at 400 degrees for ten minutes and then reduce to 375 for 35 minutes until the pastry is puffed and golden brown around the edges. Let cool for ten minutes and then cut it up and serve it! 

Breakfast, entree, appetizer, lunch with a side salad, this one is great any time of the day.

Enjoy!

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Meeting with the Lumberyard-Cottage Progress

We met with the architect, Angie, at the lumberyard to go over the floorplans for our projects. Pictured is the first-draft proposal of the Garage/Mother-in-law apartment design.  Angie will now take our plans and convert them to the final plans for our builder. We are already in the process of the back-and-forth suggestions and changes to create the best plan. 

Once the plan is finished, we should have a good idea of what it will cost. How much Andy and I will have to do ourselves, will soon become apparent.

We aren't losing any sleep over it. Much. 

This part of the project will provide on-site housing for Andy's mother, a 3-car garage space to replace the one we lost to a tornado ten years ago, an outdoor living space/extra car port in a storm, and a 2nd floor space for Andy's hobbies and work-out room. 

It checks a lot of boxes for us. On to the next step and the continued adventure of doing big projects with your spouse! 

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Back in the Kitchen

I've been back in the kitchen, working on some recipes that could work in my One Li'l Kitchen.

This morning it was Green Chile Breakfast Enchiladas with fried potatoes. Corn tortillas stuffed with mild green chiles, scrambled eggs, sausage and cheese. The way Andy wolfed these down, I'm going to call them a strong possibility. 

Do you think you could eat this?

I'm working on some cookie recipes and a salad recipe based on a restaurant favorite this weekend too. 

I hope you're all enjoying something that you love this weekend! 

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The Sunset View Stopped Us

After a full day of clearing branches, shopping for trees, clearing, tossing and organizing, we looked up and saw this out of our bedroom window. It stopped us and we just took it in.

Then I asked Andy to take a picture before it was over. 

We have spectacular sunsets out here. I can't wait to share them with our guests. 

A perfect end to a very good day.

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Contractor's Visit-Cottage Progress

Well things are looking up! We have submitted the plans to our contractor and now he and Andy will take them to the lumber yard for the final drafts of the plans to be made, and then the dirt work can begin!

Among other things, we discussed siding, the roofline, money-saving strategies and location. We have our plumber, electrician and dirt guy all lined up. 

We really like the guys we will be working with. They are local, knowledgeable and they laugh at Andy's jokes. They don't seem to mind our nosey dogs, either. 

There is still so much to do, but it feels like it's happening now. 

For such a long time, I was not sure I'd get here. Now that I am here, it feels weird. but I know the biggest mistake I can make, is to doubt myself or my process. Doubt lurks out there, every day, around every corner, but I can't waste my resources giving her the time of day anymore. 

I don't know much, but I do know you won't make dreams come true by inviting Doubt to sit at your table. 

I'll be working on perfecting a couple of cookie recipes this weekend. I've been doing more drawing and painting, so I hope to make more progress there. Planting will begin any time now, much to the relief of the farmers around here. We're keeping busy. 

I hope you all have something fun planned for the weekend. See you soon. 

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Swedish Death Cleaning, Moving and Working in the Grove-Cottage Progress

Well, it has been a busy couple of weeks getting ready to start the garage build and remodel of the addition. Andy and I trimmed 21 trees and are almost done clearing the branches from the part of the grove that will be for guest use. 
It's starting to look like a park out there.

In contrast, the roll-off dumpster in the yard is nearly full. Swedish Death Cleaning is well under way. It refers to a tradition that empties our house of the things, furnishings, collections, clothing, dishes, etc., our children will likely toss when we die because they have no idea why they were important to us. It's not important to them. There is a very good chance it will be donated or tossed when we go, and in the end, it will only be a burden to our survivors. 

We've completely moved out of the addition now and are adjusting to the "downsizing." Truth be told, it's not much of an adjustment. We have plenty of house for the two of us and it feels pretty good to "unload."

Besides, we are all about new, fresh beginnings around here lately. It's been a tough twelve months filled with anguish, loss, growth and the search for anything that resembles resilience. It's been a long year. 

Maybe the longest year.

It's good to feel alive, now. Spring still hasn't come in full here yet, but we're inching our way along, with open arms. 

The contractor comes again tomorrow to discuss more details. We have plans to build a dream. We have plans with friends and family. We have plans to travel and see a little of this amazing world. It feels hopeful. 

Here we go. 

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Detours

My life's path has been made up of them, detours. I can only assume I have a lot to learn on this winding, circling path that I continually find myself on. Sometimes it takes me a while. 

I've always been a "late bloomer." Andy too. We're OK with it, as long as there are still some blooms, I guess. 

Almost nothing went as planned this past year. 

This post is to remind a future me that although it really did not go as planned, you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing just what you're supposed to be doing. It's all working out. 

Special thanks to Lou for reminding me to "trust my process."

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